I am SO tempted to pack everything and jump in Swan and head for my Ozarks land. I keep hesitating. Not so much now due to the Bigfoot and Dogmen that are there. I've spent 5 years pretty much figuring THAT out. Now, I'm more worried about the area potential drug zombies I might run into. I really don't think the Cryptids are going to bother me if I just act normal, which I rarely do, lol. Before I knew about them, for example, I went a little ways into my woods, sat down on what I hoped was a dry creek, next to the only water puddle I'd yet seen. I sat there for 3 hours throwing rocks out from around the puddle. A bear, a coyote, a rabid human, could have snuck up on me and had me for lunch. I was that unaware and excited to be possibly digging out a spring.
For the past few days I've been considering placing an ad on one of the several area "Help Wanted" pages I've tracked down. It would go something like: "Want to Hire: Huge, Strong, Alpha Male, man who isn't afraid to go find my back property lines, my back creek, and the hunter's stand. Must be familiar with shooting huge wild boars (I'm not brave enough to ask for someone familiar with Bigfoot and Dogman, just need a big game hunter type guy). Must be able to watch over an independent blue eyed blonde who usually has no clue to her surroundings because her mind is always in the clouds, writing stories. Skills: build fences, fire pit, burn brush, chainsaw, blade weed eater, grind stumps, put up snake fences, shoot cotton mouths, and reinforce blue shed with bear proof welding. Keep night watch while she sleeps in her pretty shed or "Swan" her white van." I tend to seek out these types anyway, I write about my friends who jump from helicopters, play metal drums in places called the Dungeon, and host Cowboy Camps. Just realized that.
Seriously, no wonder I write stories. I REALLY want to go. And if I can't find any takers who even half-way qualify I've been known to go on adventures alone to the point where the title of my independent television series is called, "Texas Tales from a LONE Star." Guess what the Lone part refers to? Me. I'm just itching to go...
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Written May 11, 2024 at 11:46 pm