So I was reading Leviticus Chapters 3, 4, and 5 and wasn't really getting it. I've learned that when I don't grasp something, not to worry, God will just bring it up again. So I even said a quick prayer, for insurance, "God, I'm not really getting this." Or maybe I was getting it and didn't want to. It was making me squirm, uncomfortable, the part that was coming through. It was talking about sacrifice and appointed times, feasts, laws for sin offerings, laws for peace offerings and how forgiveness works - ours and God's. I think I may have done one of those sins and might need to make one of those offerings...it was talking about when you sin inadvertently, didn't mean to. I think I may have done that to Mark with the cruise.
In the beginning of our friendship Mark had asked me to write his Biography, his book. As we went along I got more and more nervous about that. I knew that Mark must have signed a jillion Non-Disclosure Agreements during his career. He had been a stunt-man and stunt-coordinator on 180 MAJOR Feature Films. Famous actors don't usually like it when the public is informed that they didn't actually perform some of their own stunts themselves or even how a particular stunt effect is achieved. That's secret wizardry. There HAD to have been NDA's and I didn't know when or where, who or how. Mark wouldn't remember or even really care, "God will handle it," would be his attitude and yes God probably would but it was ME who would get blamed.
SO...I write, anyway. I write about my own life, anyway. Mark had started becoming a solid fixture in my life. I'm not that great with friends. I'm more of a "I have 3 close family members I like, two friends from High School, and a bunch of acquaintances I can take or leave, WHY do I need MORE?" I am very solitary. I have my close loved ones near me. I do everything with Yahweh, I pray in my mind unceasingly, as Jesus taught us. I live, in my mind, and in every action, with Yahweh. I pray to him, talk to him, in my head, in my heart, ALL the time. I'm NEVER alone. He's been there since before I was even born. He knows every single thing there is to know about every single thing I've ever done, and why, and what happened next, and what WILL happen next, next year and the next. Unceasingly. I do that. I've been doing that my entire life, and I mean my entire life. SO, I'm good.
Mark calls people. Mark learned to stop calling me so much because I'd block him. Mark learned to stop calling me at 6 am. I'd then, eventually, unblock him. Mark calls people. Angel to Laileigh: "Mark is driving me out of my mind. I wish he'd quit calling me." Laileigh: "Mark drives me nuts too." Angel, "He's a nut-nut (baby talk)." But Laileigh loves Mark. I love Mark. Mark is wonderful. There was an adjustment period. "QUIT CALLING ME SO MUCH!!!" Laileigh and I now know that Mark is a forever friend. He doesn't just call, he shares life. He shares life with a lot of people. It's like if everyone he meets were members of an orchestra - HE'D be the Conductor. And now we like that, expect that, look forward to that, rest assured in that. Mark is like Jesus. I'll use Laileigh's favorite word. Mark is like Jesus LITERALLY. Laileigh loves that word. So Mark is our friend.
Mark calling: "Angel, we REALLY need to write my book."
So SINCE I was writing anyway, since I write about my life anyway, and since Mark is a forever friend, anyway, I DECIDED I'd solve the NDA problem myself. I'd just write new, fresh, original stories about life with Mark as our friend. I'd just write about Mark and the things he does. Mark walks with God. I write about God. God is my forever friend. I'm in constant contact with God, always thinking about God. So I'd just write stories about Mark and do it like I always do - through my eyes that see with Yahweh. That's how I write and that's what I started doing. NOW I was safe. I wasn't writing what Mark WANTED me to write but I WAS giving the world a gift, the gift of what Mark is really like. Mark is a tornado, a dynamo, a Hollywood Hall of Fame Stuntman and Stunt Director and he LIVES like that. Mark lives like that for God. That's WHY Mark calls people. That's WHY Mark shares his life with people. That's WHY Mark is the Conductor. Mark leads.
I was reading Leviticus. I was getting the idea that I've been doing something wrong. I wasn't grasping all of what I was reading but I was grasping enough to make me squirm and feel uncomfortable. It was talking about purity and agreement. It was talking about how two people must AGREE from their heart of hearts if they set out to do something together. It was talking about pure honesty. It was talking about what happens when you secretly take advantage of someone, use your position or power in a situation to your own advantage instead of honestly, purely AGREEING to a covenant that you BOTH benefit from and BOTH honestly desire and agree to. Whoops.
Ok, God, so I guess I'm doing that, aren't I? Mark had asked me to write his Biography and instead I was doing what I wanted, sort-of what Mark wanted, but not really. I WAS writing about him in a way that would give people a window into what a dedicated, man-of-God is like as he honestly pursues his faith with God in his life. No one sees that. It's a window that I have, as Mark's friend, and that I can create in a way that communicates ideas about God that people need to grasp. It's honestly BETTER than what Mark asked me to do. But it is not what Mark asked me to do. Don't get me wrong, I got his permission from the start, but it is Mark style, "It's all good, God will handle it." Mark lets me. I send him all my stories. God will handle it.
So with that foggy uncomfortable feeling in my heart I got interrupted in the story about "God's Insurance" that I had started to write. My daughter knocked on my door and asked for my help. So I stopped writing to help her. She has just started nursing school to become an RN. It was VERY hard to get into the program but she did it. She is overwhelmed with everything they are requiring her to do, study-wise. I went in to see what she needed and she showed me how Microsoft 365 Office, PowerPoint, was not formatting correctly. She was making study cards that she'd not only get graded on but would keep forever as part of her resources. Each card contained important information on different drugs, medications. There was a card for each drug. She had to make 100 cards and PowerPoint was not formatting correctly. She was overwhelmed because that was just a little bit of what she had to turn in the next morning. So I told her to send it to me and I'd figure it out.
It took me about an hour to realize God was "bringing it up again." What I didn't understand in Leviticus Chapters 3, 4, and 5 was now in front of me in real life as my lesson. I've told my close family and friends many times that God teaches me the Bible by making whatever I'm studying MATCH my life. PowerPoint was Leviticus 3, 4, and 5. Microsoft used their power and position to force the users to do things their way. The entire system of Microsoft 365 was set up to anticipate what a user of their products would need to do easily, make that nearly impossible, and then charge money for allowing you to do it. In that hour I saw how this was happening over and over and over at every turn. There was no agreement, no covenant, just "Do it our way and pay." Extortion. In my personal opinion Microsoft 365 has been studiously designed as an entire SYSTEM of Extortion. Leviticus. That's what God wanted me to grasp. I did.
So, I wrote Mark. I told him exactly what I was doing and why with my stories about him. I laid it all on the line, relinquished control and self-protection, and took the chance he'd disagree and tell me to stop writing my stories (after my investing years of time and effort in them). I trusted God. I put it on the line. I obeyed Leviticus. We have to obey.
Do you know what Mark did? Mark said, "It's all good, God will handle it," and as I breathed a sigh of relief I soon got a new text on my phone from Mark. He had sent my short-stories, my two new ones about the Dreamer's Cruise, to several of his friends. I don't know WHO exactly because very few of Mark's friends are my friends, so I just saw phone numbers and no names. But Mark does that. And WHO KNOWS who he sent my stories to. He knows ALL KINDS of famous people. But that's what he did. He just put it in God's hands, like he always does. And that's why I write stories about Mark for the world to be able to see God.
I guess this is two stories in one, because I started out to write about "God's Insurance." Then my story took a turn, God does that.
I found an insurance company online called "Global Rescue." I LOVE IT. We have a Dreamer's Cruise coming up in March and both Mark and I are going. Guess who is actually doing all the legwork? Me.
Angel to Mark on the phone: "I bought you the Cruise insurance in case anything goes wrong. You're covered. I bought it for myself too. But I ALSO just found this insurance that I LOVE. I sent you the link. I can't buy it for you because I'm not your family member. I might buy it for myself though. It is called "Global Rescue" and if ANYTHING goes wrong they will send highly trained ex-Navy Seals type military experts to GO GET YOU and take you SAFELY HOME. Like if something goes wrong, when we are in Jamaica or Grand Cayman, or ANYWHERE all we have to do is call them and they will COME GET US and take us safely home. War, natural disaster, anything. I LOVE it. It's just $260. for our trip. You can buy it yourself for yourself at this link." And I sent him the link. I added, "OR we can just trust God."
Mark called me. He liked the idea. I loved the idea because Mark does all kinds of stuff that scares me to death. Watch his Stunt Reel HERE.
Angel to Mark on the phone: "I had insurance when Robin was alive, LOTS of insurance. Then one day I said to myself, "Why do you have all this insurance? Don't you trust God?" and I cancelled ALL of my insurance, deciding to trust God. THEN a BUNCH of DISASTERS happened and I didn't have ANY insurance. Looking back, though, that's probably the best thing that ever happened to me because GOD used that to teach me all the things I know now. That would have never happened if I'd had insurance. Yes, bad things happened, yes, I had zero insurance. But God walked with me through it all, and THAT'S why I know a lot of the stuff I know about God."
So that's what I wanted to write this story about. I wanted to write about how tempted I was to buy that marvelous insurance. I wanted to write about how safe it made me feel just to contemplate it. But that's not really insurance, that is a diversion of our trust and faith. The only real insurance we have is free. It costs everything. You have to be figuring out what the Bible means when Leviticus is going over your head but you have an uncomfortable feeling, and let God teach you, trust him, do what you are instructed to do. THEN you have insurance. God's insurance. I know. I learned it firsthand. xo
Copyright 2024 Angel Isaacs All Rights Reserved
Written February 4, 2024 at 6:00 pm